


His Father's Griffin Lord

by dornfelder



Series: This One Night [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-03
Updated: 2012-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-13 11:19:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/502963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dornfelder/pseuds/dornfelder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there is only one thing Aegon can have of Griff, he will take it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Father's Griffin Lord

**Author's Note:**

> Translation into Russian available: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4406615

**I**

In his earliest memories, he is three years old and rides on Griff’s knees. He giggles and yelps with excitement. “Father,” he laughs. “Father, more.”

The movement stills. Griff’s hands hold him to tight it hurts, and he squirms. 

“I am not your father,” Griff says, and puts him down to walk away.

Aegon cries for him, but Griff does not return.

~~~~~

Aegon grows up knowing he should not be alive.

A little boy died in his place. Griff tells him that story on his sixth name day. Other children are gifted with a cake; Aegon with a tale that returns to him in nightmares for years and years. 

By then he knows already who he is, who his father was, and that Griff had been his father’s friend for a long time. His nurses and his teachers tell him he is lucky to be alive. That it means he has obligations and duties and responsibilities; there is a kingdom waiting for him beyond the ocean. 

For Aegon it means he is the only one left. They all left him behind, him and Griff, and when Aegon tells him that, Griff makes a wounded noise deep in his throat, and turns away from him. 

~~~~~

Sometimes he hates Griff. 

Griff knew Aegon’s father, his mother, his sister. He knew them all, and refuses to talk about them, keeping all the precious memories to himself.

It is not the only reason.

Sometimes he hates Griff because Griff does not love him. Griff keeps him safe, Griff takes care of him – but he has only ever loved Aegon’s father, back when Griff was Jon, in Westeros, before Aegon was born.

Sometimes Aegon hates his father, too, because although he did nothing to earn it, he had Jon’s love. It was just his, an unwanted gift he had no use for.

Aegon strives for it his whole life. He takes his studies serious, he tries to be what Griff expects of him. It is never enough. 

 

**II**

Aegon prepares himself with trembling hands. His fingers are slick with salve, and he pushes them in his hole over and over again. It hurts, and it is such a degrading act. On his hands and knees with his ass in the air, so he can reach inside better. Aegon bites his lips. The humiliation brings tears to his eyes.

He angrily wipes them off when he is done, and cleans his hands at the bedspread. He feels wet and open and hopes it will be enough, but he guesses that if it is not, he will find out. 

Aegon washes himself and runs a comb through his hair. He wonders, not for the first time, whether Griff dyes it to conceal who Aegon is, or forget who Aegon’s father was.

Everything is quiet outside. Griff’s door is never locked. Aegon knows that, knows that the door tends to squeak if it is opened too fast.

He does it slowly. 

Griff turns restlessly in his sleep. Aegon sees his bare chest, covered with red hair, and his strong arms with freckled skin on the plain, greyish sheets. 

_It is the only way,_ Aegon thinks, queasy.

His body fits into the curve of Griff’s just so. Griff wakes, and Aegon pushes back against his stiffening cock with a dry throat, his heart beating fast and furiously.

There is a moment, when Griff tenses and Aegon holds his breath. 

“I can be him,” Aegon whispers. “Let me, just let me...” and reaches for Griff, puts a hand on his hip and pulls him against his ass.

 _I cannot do this,_ the thinks, when Griff rolls him over. _Why do I have to?_

_I love you,_ he thinks, when he feels kisses trailing down his spine. _Can you not love me, too?_

 _No, please, no,_ he thinks, when Griff pushes in and the burning pain forces sobs from his throat. 

_I love you,_ he thinks, desperate and when Griff whispers a name above him Aegon pretends not to hear it. 

_Don’t make me leave,_ he thinks after, and tries not to cry. He feels fragile. Anything will make him shatter. 

Griff’s arms come around him, and Aegon closes his eyes. Being held like this, he can almost forget about the pain in his ass, the hidden, vulnerable place where his body has been forced open. Aegon lies still. He dares not to edge closer like he wants to. If he moves, Griff will cast him out. 

When Aegon leaves at last, in the early morning, Griff lets him go without a word.

Aegon watches the sun rise from the top of the deck. He sits with his back to the wall, hugging his knees with his arms, and tries not to think of a man who is his father in all respects that matter but one.


End file.
